(If you've seen The Music Man, proceed. If not, have a look here first: youtu.be )
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CASH for the Lucky Dice, CASH for the Rabbit’s Foot.
CASH for the Leather Coats, CASH for the Trench Coats.
CASH for the Fancy Goods, CASH for the Track Shoes.
CASH for the Tokens and the Totems and the Moonstones.
CASH for the Thermos, Pipes and Painkillers.
CASH for the Shovels and the Lanterns and the Newspapers.
Look, howdoyafight, howdoyafight, howdoyafight, howdoyafight, howdoyafight?
HOWDOYACLUEVER?
Howdoyafight?
Ya can Move, ya can Draw, ya can Parlay, ya can Fight,
Ya can Cluever, Cluever, Cluever, ya can Fight, ya can Fight,
Ya can Move, Draw, Play, Fight, Cluever, Cluever, Cluever,
Ya can Fight all ya wanna but it’s different than it was!
No it ain't, no it ain't, but you gotta know yer inventory!
~Shh shh shh shh shh shh shh~
Why it's the Axe / Horse combo made the trouble,
Made Survivors wanna blow, wanna get, wanna get, wanna get up and blow
Seven, eight, nine, ten, twelve, fourteen, twenty-two, twenty-three cash on any fight they meet!
Yes sir, yes sir!
Who's gonna draw and play a little batty two-hand break-onna-skull anymore?
Howdoyafight, howdoyafight? HOWDOYACLUEVER?
Gone, gone, gone with the Thermos, Pipes and Painkillers.
Gone with the Derringers, the .41, the .18.
Gone with the Signs and the Knives and the Vests.
Ever meet a fellow by the name of Bob?
...Bob?
............Bob?
..Bob?
........Bob?
.....Bob?
..................Bob?
..........................Bob?
Bob!
NO.
Just a minute, just a minute, just a minute!
Never heard of any salesman Bob.
Well he knows what’s in your inventory!
Knows what’s in my inventory?!
What's his stat line?
Never worries 'bout his line!
Never worries 'bout his line?!
Or a doggone thing!
He's just an all-in, neck-wringing, dumb luck, hard knocks, double-nothing, high-rollin’,
Turns-into-a-great rogue salesman!
That's Mister Bob Jenkins, Bob Jenkins!
What's the fellow's line? What's his line?
He's a fake, and he shouldn't know your inventory!
Look, howdoyafight, howdoyafight, howdoyafight, howdoyafight?
He's a Shrewd-Deals man!
He's a what? He's a what?
He's a Shrewd-Deals man and he sells Catalogues
To the ‘gators in the town with the big Thompsons
And the rat-a-tat guns. Cigarette case, cigarette case!
And the Lupara, the Lupara, and pocket-Colt, too!
With a shiny gold pock-et-watch for yer big red glove-wearin'-
Weeell, I don't know what’s in yer hand but I do know
You can't make a living playin’ other people’s cards, no sir.
“You owe me one”, perhaps, and here and there a Teamwork-
No, the fellow plays hands. YOUR hands! I don't know how he does it!
But he lives like a king! And he dallies and he cluevers and he picks and he shines.
And with a transaction, certainly, boys, what else? The gator pays him!
Yes sir! Yes sir! Yes sir! Yes sir!
With a transaction, certainly boys, what else?
The gator pays him!
Yessssir. Yessssir.
BUT HE’LL KNOW WHAT’S IN MY INVENTORY!